I recently interviewed with on couples who share Facebook accounts or over share about their relationships online. As much of a fan I am of Facebook, I recommend balanced independence on social media. There is a role for healthy autonomy in every relationship. When couples have a joint account, it doesn’t really reflect that. That being said, sometimes there are benefits to sharing an account. Older couples for example, may feel that navigating the most popular social media site is easier when done as a team. Still, for the most part, some of my clients discuss their partner’s social media behavior (or lack thereof). Shared accounts can cause problems. My clients’ concerns primarily involve ulterior motives or distrust. For example, one partner believes the other is hiding something (tweaking privacy settings so part of his or her profile is invisible) or using social media to invoke jealousy (tagging pictures of oneself with attractive men or women).

Psychologically, when couples share social media accounts, it more likely than not is a sign of codependency or insecurity. Someone has trust issues or someone feels the need to monitor. Most of the time that’s what’s really going on when we see a joint account, because it’s unusual. In such cases it’s quite possible that the couple is too enmeshed. There is nothing wrong with interacting with each other, tagging photos of each other and proclaiming your love and adoration with each other as long as a certain level of healthy independence is maintained.